Today my friend Sarah texted me to see if I’d watched the new LOST yet. Since I got my DVR I watch nothing live and my inability to accept that LOST is ending means I generally binge and purge on the episodes, waiting until I have a few to satisfy me for most of the day (which means short answer: no).
When I told her I was on a media blackout until I could watch it tomorrow night she responded with: Good idea. I won’t say too much or I might reveal something about Dobby dying . . . And that’s when I realized, there are just some things that you’re never going to live down.
Like most people, we loved the Harry Potter books. I was one of those people who stood in line to buy the book at midnight (I wasn’t stupid – I didn’t go to a bookstore; I stifled my disdain for it and went to a 24-hr Wal-Mart). I was one of those people who started reading it the minute I got it. And yes, I was one of those people who stayed up all night until I finished it. When the last book came out I had a few friends over and we stayed up reading together. They all succumbed to sleep but not I. Which is why when Sarah woke up the next morning and asked me how it was going, my deliriousness got to me and I let the Dobby death slip. My mind sometimes does stupid things – only very rarely can I stop it. Which brings me to . . .
Val’s Awesome List of Things She’ll Never Live Down (in no particular order) –
- Telling Sarah that Dobby died
- Not knowing how the jelly got into the middle of the donut
- Pulling muscles while making my bed, combing my hair, and once (almost) by collating
- Being horrendously bad at spelling on Facebook
- Accidently sending MMS instead of SMS messages to my sister’s lame cell phone so she didn’t actually know Grandma died
- People thinking I’m the evil twin
- Liking that I don’t even have to order at IHOP anymore
- Writing a book where a fisherman named Gordon is inspired by the fish sticks in the freezer
- Having a dirty car that my co-workers swear gave them bird flu and SARS
- Hating Ernest Hemingway with the fire of a thousand suns
- Giving high-fives during my brother’s wedding ceremony
- Winning a contest because I was the most pathetic 20-something that shared a room (and bunk bed!) with my teenage sister
- Being stuck in the elevator at work and Totally having it be my fault
- The highschool argument heard round the world (yeah, don’t mess with me when I’m talking about mitosis)
- Doing the dishes – which is so rare it caused a cosmic rift that injured my roommate
- Never revealing the lyrics to the instant smash hit “Singing In The Bathtub”
- Falling down the stairs, all of the multiple times
- Winning a karaoke contest in college with “I Will Survive” and the macarenna
- Getting every song I’ve ever heard stuck in my head, including tonal cell phone rings
- Giving up cheese for Lent the 2nd time (miserableness squared)
- Making Long Island Ice Teas that I was only man enough to drink
But the bright side of having things that you’ll never live down? Whenever you’re at a loss for something to happen to Jack or Jill and the tumbling down the hill is getting old, you’ve got multiple ideas at your disposal. Did you hear the one about Jill and the jelly donut? Well . . .