God, I’m tired. This is both a declaration and a prayer. I need sleep. On another unrelated – or completely related depending on how you look at it – note, my month of No Procrastination is going . . . well . . . it’s going.
And in a weird twist of fate, I haven’t really been able to sleep since I started it. I’m starting to think that my subconscious just has a really twisted sense of humor. Because there really isn’t any other reason why I can’t sleep. You know, besides the weather changing and possibly developing allergies and laying around like a listless blob most of the time. But you know, besides all of that stuff I should be able to sleep, no problem.
In the past I’ve had trouble sleeping because I’ve been unsatisfied with my life – the minute I make a decision about something, sleep returns. Either there was some missing decision that needed to be “Valerie’s Brain Approved” (uh-oh, my cerebellum does not like the color shirt I’m wearing today), I’m fooling myself into thinking that I’m happy, or I really need to cut down on the caffeine. Either way, I need to figure this out because there are quite a few things where being well-rested comes in handy . . .
Things You Shouldn’t Do While Sleepy
- Walk (walls tend to jump out at you)
- Eat (food tends to fall . . . places that are inconvenient)
- Drive (people always say they can get to work in their sleep – they lie)
- Send coherent emails (okay, so I knew about my tendency to misspell on Facebook but I never realized that it kicks in at other times too)
- Understanding what your boss says to you (usually eyes open is required for this especially when they are referring to some super important paper that would have Really Really Important stamped across it if my life was a cartoon)
- Playing Words With Friends (though, to be honest, my words usually get more points when I spell them wrong – this needs to be my new strategy with Matt)
- Making To-Do Lists (otherwise every single line says Sleep or is written so incoherently it might as well say sleep)
- Watching SNL (because where’s the fun of watching Betty White if you’re falling asleep?! )
You’re hilarious…in case you didn’t already know that…
Also, how did I miss this? It jsut made me life at work on my day off infinitely more easy to cope with. Granted, I SHOULD be reading your novel…but where’s the fun in that? I’m not the one who swore off procrastination…besides it’s June now…and I’m reading something you wrote…
…That counts right?